Matters of the Heart
by sparkycircuit
Summary: At some point, lying on the sandy beach and trying desperately to overcome the ringing in her ears from being knocked down forcibly for the second time in thirty seconds, she makes a choice. Spoilers for 2x09.


**MATTERS OF THE HEART**

Emma's not sure when she makes the choice, but she does. At some point, lying on the sandy beach and trying desperately to overcome the ringing in her ears from being knocked down forcibly for the second time in thirty seconds, she makes a choice. She only dimly pays attention to what Mary Margaret and Cora are saying to each other, though it becomes increasingly clear that if Regina is the Mayor of Crazytown, then Cora is the Queen of Crazyland.

But none of that spurs her to action like the realization that Cora has every intention of ripping her friend -no, her mother's- heart out. The decision is instantaneous; it barely even registers as a conscious thought. It's a particularly easy decision to make when she realizes that Mary Margaret- no, _Snow, _she has to remember that now- doesn't seem to be planning on moving any time soon, no matter the consequences. So Emma makes a choice for her.

_Better me then her. _

So when Cora reaches forward after so helpfully explaining her plan of action as evil is wont to do (she'd always assumed that was just a stereotype from the movies, it was oddly disappointing that it was true), Emma is moved to action. She shoves her best friend, her mother, out of the way, and only has a moment to consider the strangled yell of her name that manages to escape her mother's lips before she's distracted by the fact that Cora's hand is in her chest.

It is as unpleasant a feeling as Emma would have expected. She feels frozen in space, though every fiber of her being seems to be caught up in some slow scream, a need to push Cora away and wrest her heart out of her grip. But she does none of those things. She stands still and stares at Cora, looking for something, anything in her face, her eyes, anything for a sign of mercy or weakness. She sees neither. Just emptiness and hunger. She feels a chill somewhere deep inside her. Even Regina never looks that empty.

But she has the oddest feeling that heart in hand, Cora can see her just as clearly, and when she smirks and calls her a foolish girl she can't say she disagrees. Cora has seen her and found her wanting. It's a feeling that Emma is all too familiar with. She often has looked and found herself wanting. Staring at Cora, though, she is satisfied with one thing- she never looks that empty. And that, if nothing else, gives her hope, for no matter how brief a moment, before she again realizes the absurdity of any hope of her coming out of this whole thing with her heart in tact.

She feels again that Cora has found her wanting when she explains with the tone she might use when talking to a rather stupid child that love is weakness. It takes her a moment- her brain seems to be moving slower then she'd like- but she knows, finally, that something is wrong. Cora is wrong. She has to be wrong. This is confirmed when she feels Cora try to remove her heart, and it feels as though something is bending inside her but won't break. And each time Cora tugs at her heart, she feels it. Something bigger then her. Something stronger then the both of them. It scares her, but it fuels her at the same time. She is acutely aware of something inside her that she can't put her finger on. But while she can't name it, she knows it places her outside of the realm of Cora's strength. And for the first time since Cora reached inside of her chest and found her wanting, she finds that what she has, Cora can't have. The thought that that, perhaps, is the source of the emptiness in Cora's eyes sends another shiver deep inside her, but she has no time to dwell on that thought.

Cora looks as surprised as she is when she straightens up and speaks. She can't imagine that people are too terribly chatty when she's ripping out their hearts. "No." And as she voices the feeling, something happens. A tingling sensation that seems to spread from her chest outward, as though rejecting any effect Cora might be having, and she finds herself speaking words she didn't think she would ever have believed, but as she speaks them, she knows them to be true. "It's strength." And with that, she's not sure _what _happens, and it confuses her mightily, but the point is that something does happen. In an instant, Cora is gone. She knows she's done something to cause it, but she doesn't know what. So she stands, frozen, taking in shaky breaths, finding that her breath is difficult to catch, half expecting another hand in her chest and her heart to be rent from her at any moment. She considers, briefly that this is probably her being in shock, but her she moves on from that train of thought quickly. Her mind goes a mile a minute. She's completely forgotten Snow is even there in her confusion until she feels her mother's hand on her chest, and with that she returns to herself.

"What was that?" she asks, hating the tremor in her own voice. She's still frozen, rooted to the spot, and she doesn't look her mother in the eye, afraid of the answer. It's only when Snow puts her hand on her face that she meets her gaze. Normally she'd be far too uncomfortable with the physical contact to even notice the look in Snow's eyes, but this time it seems telegraphed straight to her brain. The relief and love she sees there strikes her, and she feels suddenly uncomfortable and unworthy under the scrutiny as she wonders how Snow can't find her wanting when Cora so clearly sees her the way she sees herself. But now isn't the time to ask, nor does she particularly want the answer. She takes in a few more gasping breaths, Snow's words barely registering. She manages a nod when she says they can discuss it after they get home, but the words still reverberate in her head.

_What was that? _

She's not entirely sure she wants the answer.

* * *

So that was my first attempt at Once Upon a Time Fanfic, and I'd love to know what you think. Cheers!


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